the hopeless hope

what if,
just what if one day I disappear?
would you be worried?
would you be afraid?
would you come looking for me?
how would you feel when you can’t find me?
how would you feel when you realize I’m not here anymore?
would you just live your life like you’ve never met me?

First, I felt like i was suffocating when I couldn’t talk about my feelings for you. 
Then, I broke the boundary and told you.
But somehow I still feel like I can’t breathe. 
Why? 
It’s times like this that I ask myself,
What the fuck I want from ME.
it’s the battle of mind vs emotions

just sometimes i wished you’re less busy.

just so you can have some spare time for me.

but i guess that’s just too much to ask. 

i dont know whats going on.

so dont ask me whats wrong. 

i just dont feel right.

my thoughts are killing me slowly.

they’re eating me up inside.

i just dont know why.

im not alright. but do you know?